Boyz

Saturday, 10 May 2008


i was going to title this "boys 2" but then i thought, if i do that with every blog relating to boys, im gonna one day end up with "Boys No: 1786859".
Anyway, oooh i dunno really. I went to boro today with laura (and got the train back for free cause the ticket person didnt get to us - cashback) And im 99% sure i seen my old (2nd) ex. It was one of those things where it just happens before you get chance to realise whats going on. We were going into home bargains, and it was rammed outside with it being saturday and all. And i dunno why i wasnt looking, but when i did look up before we went in the shop i just caught a glimpse of him, he was pretty much right infront of me as well. Thats why i was a bit unsure if it was him, cause i only seen him for like 2 seconds. He smiled like, then again that still doesnt mean it was him hmm. When he smiled at me, cause it was just like a suprise and it was super quick, i gave a wonky "are you who i think you are?" kind of smile back haha, i must have looked like a proper mong. Its bugging me cause i just wish i knew for definate if it was him or not, i wish i'd been a bit friendlier too, i mean i did smile back so its not like i blanked him or owt, just i dunno. I seen him ages ago in town too, stockton town, probably about a year ago, but it was a similar situation, just glimpsed him as i was going past, it definately was him that time though so.
Wierd how iv only seen him twice in all these years, and its been the same type of situation haha. Just wish i'd taken more notice, i think i tend to just put my head down when its busy and try to work a route around all the fat bastards and wailing kids.

I cant believe iv wrote all this just about bumping into my ex. I think im having a bit of a 'my name is earl' moment, cause i just finished with him in a horrible way, well i didnt cause at least i did it in person and stuff. Just when i did it, i rememer how hurt and upset he looked. And i think now, years down the line, its affected me more than it probably has him haha. Just wish things had ended better really. then again, i dont think they could have cause out of all my (grand total of 3) ex's, he's the only one im still on friendly speaking terms with. Its nice to have at least one of my ex's that i dont think is a total knob.

So anyway, i dunno, i cant decided if i want to be single or not. I blame me never being able to make my mind up (about anything!) on being a Libra. Sometimes i love being on my own, and other times not.
You know on skins when cassie runs away to new york and just happens to meet that completely perfect american boy who works in a greasy diner, and does photography, and has a tiny poky rubbish flat, and gives her apples, and takes her on nights out at 2am and then walks along the hudson with her at the end. ahh. That is what i want, i wish things like that happened to real people. Its not like im gonna just run into a hot boy on the street and we'll strike up a conversation and discover we have a million things in common, and it will be the perfect start. Goddamn movies making me belive stuff like that actually happens!

r aaa!

x