Y'arr

Gather round ladies and gentlemen, let me tell ye a tale of um, a man I know.

There's a man who me and my mam see sometimes, walking his little dog on the grassy fields at the end of our roads. His little dog is so cute, white and fluffy and with really bright eyes, she's only a baby I think so she's always excited to see ye. She's gorgeous. Anyway, yeah, we don't know him much, or even what his name is, but he seems so nice, and he always speaks to us.
He wears long-ish shorts, and a bandanna, like a pirate type bandanna not an axl rose type. Hence my nickname of him- "The Pirate".
Anyway, it turns out he lives pretty much directly opposite us on the back of our house, we share an alley and his yard sort of backs opposite ours.

So I was sat here on my bed last night, and I noticed out of my window that an upstairs light was on in his house, then it occurred to me that I'd never actually seen that room lit up, and curiosity got the better of me (I always was a total nosey parker) And I snuck off downstairs like a burglar to get the binoculars.
I probably wouldn't have done this, but I could just make out something glistening, moving a bit, in the window. I pondered for a bit on weather he was typing at a computer, or having a wank. So yeah, the moving really got the better of me, and after about a minute or so of spying, I figured out that what I was looking at was actually the neck and top part of a bass (guitar not fish).
I wonder why he was playing so late at night though, it was probably around half 12. Maybe he just took up bass, or maybe he broke up with his wife/girlfriend.
I had a bit of a nosey tonight, his sitting room looks cool, I could see the Tv, he was watching family guy.
So there you go, a nice, piratey, bass playing, family guy, pet loving dude. I really really like him, I really hope he's single, cause I would proper love it if him and my mam got together, It'd be proper good.
I don't think I've ever really tried match making anyone. If anyone has any tips, let me know.

Also I'd be grateful if nobody reported me to the police for being a spy.
Spanks