This years sunflowers are turning out quite nicely, the biggest one is very nearly as big as me now, and I'm becoming quite the proud gardener. But when I checked on them tonight while letting the dog in the yard, it was about 10 o clock ish, I noticed quite a few leaves were eaten. And one of the leaves, I mean eaten. Looking under the leaves I found about 5 little tiny green caterpillars. Little goddamn shits. I am genuinely really angry that they're eating my sunflowers. And also pretty baffled that they all have came out at night?! I check the sunnies regularly during the day and I never see any. So I don't really know what to do. I picked them all off and put them somewhere else. Too dark out to really do much, but I'll get on it first thing tomorrow. I hate killing things though. I found a natural repellent recipe (orange peels and water or something) so I'll give that a go. Its either that or pick the goddamn things off every day. I'm a little unlucky with the sunflowers in my yard. Last year they almost got annihilated by a dead heavy hailstorm. Still, they seem to be pretty hardy little buggers, and I cant wait till they bloom. I'm gonna stop geeking out about gardening now.
My mam did a pretty good job of scaring the shit out of me tonight. I walked into the room after whipping up some lovely double cream for some lovely jam and scones, when she said to me - "I've just tried ringing your dad" so I said, "oh, alright, why?". Cause we don't really ring him much, usually he just calls us. And she said "I read on Teletext that a taxi driver had been shot and killed in Chester le street, he was from Stockton". She had a dead worried look on her face, which in turn inspired a twisted knot of fear in my gut. "and he hasn't answered his phone, he usually answered doesn't he?" But I said nahh, nowadays your lucky if you can get through to him after a few tries. Which is true, he used to be pretty much reliable, until he started seeing this weird deranged woman. (Much, much more on that later in another blog no doubt). So yeah. In the end he did call back about 10 minutes later. But it was a pretty uncomfortable 10 minutes. I decided to leave the scones and have a bath in order to just chill out a bit. I guess I was never really, I dunno, REALLY worried. But I was definitely worried at some level. At one point I considered googling it. But I realised I couldn't handle the thought of it, if it had turned out to be him, and that's how I found out. I realised though, if anything did happen to him. We probably wouldn't find out for quite a while. I'm pretty sure his family wouldn't give two flying fucks about letting us know. Certain, quite certain actually. If my dad died, we probably wouldn't even get to go to the funeral. Fucked up no? Ehh, anyway. Hopefully that wont be for a long long time. But it just got my brain whirring.
Anyway, onto brighter things!
Stockton festival is approaching, and I am so excited for it. I was looking at the website http://www.sirf.co.uk/programme/ the other night, now they've announced all the things that are happening, and I am very very happy, actually, I'm pretty fucking ecstatic to see that there are rather a lot of acts from le France. Which can mean only one thing, French Boys. *swoon*
Ok Bianca, snap yourself out of it woman. Nah seriously though, me being shallow aside, it looks pretty ace, all the things that are gonna be on, some really good stuff, I'm gonna be a festival nerd and try and see as many things as I can. I just proper love festival time. I suppose cause my mam always used to take me down and see it when it was on every year, and we have pretty much always lived in the town and been close to the centre of the action. I grew up along with it, pretty nice, really.
This year at the festival theres some french act in the ruins of the church at the end of my street. The gates around the place were open last week, and I was puzzled about why, but I think it was probably something to do with that happening, cause its been created especially around the church, at least that's what I think it said. I'm so lucky they host so much stuff on the green there, the circus of horrors is gonna be on there this year too, I'm definitely gonna try and see that too. I wanted to see it when I was a teenager, but my mam would never take me, haha.
Theres always interesting characters mooching around too. I remember last year, I kept seeing this guy around. He was probably about in his 40's, and had long hair, and wore these long shorts and a kind of suit jacket. I didn't fancy him or anything, and he probably didn't fancy me, I think it was just one of those things, we kept bumping into each other around town. He was sweet though, well not that I actually spoke to him or anything, but we started to recognise each other, and he smiled at me. I'm intrigued as to who I'll meet this year, I should definitely make more of an effort to meet and talk to new people really.
I'm gonna cut off talking about Stockton Festival now, except to say, (If you're sick to the back teeth of reading my babblings of that fabled Belgian acrobat, you might wanna cut off around now) I was looking on that website, at the listings, and I noticed this - http://www.sirf.co.uk/2010/07/30/cirq%e2%80%99ulation-locale-happy-4-nothing/
It jumped off the page at me.
Cirq'ulation Locale. The circus group who brought Jokke to Stokke. ton. (Am I a writing genius or what) It was short lived, obviously, cause I already knew that the act I saw him in wasn't happy 4 nothing, and the act that I did see him in, firstly isn't coming to Stockton, and secondly its new people doing that act anyway. (how weird is this, "I'm never going to know you now, but I'm gonna love you anyhow". Listening to Elliot Smith while I've been writing this last 15 minutes, and that song came on, as I'm talking about J. Fate?!) Ahh. So yeah. Just a weird reminder, seeing Cirq Local were coming back here, albeit without lover boy, was just a bit of a reminder.
This makes me realize its about 2 years since I decided that maybe my calling in life is joining the circus. Two years and I've done fuck all. I'm such a mong. I could have been practising all sorts of stuff, in two years, I could've learnt to handstand, do the splits, hoola hoop, juggle, maybe some basic acro. I could have gathered enough little bits and pieces to be able to join something? Aha. Ack I've been writing this for far too long.
In conclusion, I'd just like to reiterate, that despite what I might have just wrote, Im not a mental bunny boiling stalker. Unless you're a Belgian acrobat.
x
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