If I could find a middle ground

Yo. Long time no blog. Quite a long time in fact, I haven't been on here in ages. Actually I don't really have any particular reason for not writing a blog, even though I do have a lot of (boring) material to blog about. A couple of weeks ago our Internet got cut off cause we didn't pay the bill, oops. Even though I could still sort of get on, thanks to whoever Belkin45 is, in dribs and drabs, its annoying to write when you could be cut off at any second, even though this auto saves every minute or so. Never mind. Haha just desperately clawing for excuses aren't I. I DON'T BLOODY HAVE ANY. Just being a lazy mofo I guess.
Anywayy, what have I got to write about. My mam woke me up at 10am today and asked if I fancied going to Redcar, so we did that. I was hoping to save save save what little money I have, but I must be easily persuaded. Better than doing nothing all day I guess. However, the downside to this was that I bought 4 dresses. I don't usually buy four dresses in four months, even though I love them. But all but one of them were from charity shops, which I guess is acceptable seeing as the most expensive one was £3.99. Anyway, I'll shut up about the dresses and save them for another post which will no doubt include pictures. Before I shut up though, I will mention the best dress of all, which I got a couple of weeks ago, from a charity shop again, but it is just so incredible, I can't wait till I get a chance to wear it. It only cost £3! And technically its not a dress, its a size 32 top. Anyway, its mainly black with loooads of bluey and green and silver sequins all over. Sounds not that nice, but the photo's will sort that out.

There is a bald cat on TV. I want to stroke one just to see what its like. It looks like a scrotum. I feel the urge to knit it a little woolly jumper, even though I can't knit cause I'm rubbish at it, and my mam gives up trying to show me how after about 3 minutes.

Uhm, anyway, on a more serious note, something happened to me today that kind of disappointed me.
I was in a Redcar charity shop with my mam, and this girl came in after us. I didn't think much of it, till we left and went into the one next door, which she also followed us into a few minutes later. I didn't actually see her face, I just sort of noticed her, she was roughly my age, maybe a little older, she was wearing, actually I have no idea what she was wearing on the top half, but on the bottom she was wearing, actually you know what fuck it, she was wearing just normal clothes I suppose, black tights, a dark blue and green tartan skirt, which was quite nice actually. She was just a bit of an Indie girl, totally normal. Then just as I was leaving the shop, I noticed that she had picked up and was looking at this sort of old lady-esq, vintage label debenhams top that I had been looking at before she came into the shop. I guess I wasn't into it enough to want to buy it, but it was pretty cool, gold and black patterned. Ohh that's why I didn't want it, I didn't like the viscosey material it was made out of.
But anyway, it just made me go "ohhh shit, Is that what I'm like?"
I don't want to be a stupid boring average indie girl. I don't want to be anything y'know, ugh it confuses my head thinking about it. When I was about 15, 16, I was a proper little mosher, wore the biggest jeans I could possibly find, proper loved the emo section of Tammy. Oh god, why am I publishing this on the Internet? No, on a serious note, what I'm getting at is, I guess I just grew out of that kind of stuff (except for listening to Blink 182) Actually I have no idea what I'm getting at, I dunno. Is this my version of an existential crisis?
Iv ran out of steam on this one now, I guess in conclusion, if I could find a middle ground between not being like everyone else, and being normal, then I would be happier. Make sense? Thought not.

I'm going to be 23 in exactly 20 days. This worries me. Maybe this is what sparked me off?! I'm not scared of another year older, I know, and feel that 23 is still proper young, even though everyone around me is a bit "wooah 23!!" I guess that's what comes from having a birthday in late September and being quite a lot of months older than everyone else in my age bracket. That's not it. What it is is, it just feels, and is, such a long time ago that I was 18, 19, and 20. I only really think of this when I think of famous people. The girl who won big brother is only 20, As if I'm 3 years older than her. Not that she's exactly famous but you know what I mean. Maybe its cause she looks older than me, I thought she was about 25. Ahh well, suck it up Bianca.

Mmm I'm pretty tired. We did a lot of walking around today. I found some ace shells on the beach, that I only just remembered, I was going to wash them when I got in, ahh well. Also we had to run for the train, it was that or wait 40 minutes for the next one. We made it in time though which was pleasant.

Blah blah, blog blog, I think this about covers it, I think I'm going to resume posting at a normal rate from now on.
P.s, If 'Anonymous boy' pays any visits to this, I wholeheartedly apologize for being a lazy procrastinating sod, and not replying to the comments! Sorry!

Adios amigo's