long time, valentine

Hey, long time no blog! I said before I'd come back and explain, and the explanation is this: My mam cancelled our Internet, well the whole Internet/TV/phone dealie. Which is fair enough really, cause the TV channels were all shit apart from the odd one or two, and just generally its not worth the money. It didn't bother me too much cause I hardly used the phone anyway, but it was a bit annoying to lose the Internet. Anyway, luckily for me, I can get back on the odd time thanks to who ever it is in my street, (or the vicinity I guess) that has unsecured wireless Internet. I'm a bit nervous about it in case they know, (or find out) that I'm stealing their Internet, but then i figured, if they knew then they'd probably block me, or i dunno, secure their service or whatever. So i dont know if they know, but i do feel kind of guilty about it. Maybe its someone who knows but who's just being dead kind.

Anywayy, yeah, blah blah. That's why i haven't been on here in ages. I don't really have any updates to make except this one.

Someone sent me roses on valentines day. 12 red roses, in a massive bouquet with a big ribbon around. They were really beautiful. There was no name on the card, just a sort of cryptic Edgar Allen Poe quote. My mam said the quote was a bit deep, my friend thought it was a bit creepy and stalkerish, but me, being the gigantic soppy bastard that I am, kind of melted a bit inside.

I was upstairs in bed when they arrived, i wasn't asleep, i was just watching a film. But consequently I didn't hear the door, I thought briefly that I did, but when I muted the sound, I didn't hear anything again so I just figured I was imagining it, and went back to whatever I was watching. Then about 10 minutes later, my mam who'd been in her room as well, shouted me, then she came in my room with one of those things they put through the door when they try to deliver a parcel and your not home. It said it was from interflora, and that they'd left my delivery with next door. So I was a bit miffed at this point, obviously someone had sent me flowers, but I kind of just sat gaping at the card for five minutes before I could really do anything. Anyway, I waited a while before I went to collect them, but then when I did, the neighbours had gone out, D'oh. Then about half an hour later they must have came back, cause the nice middle aged guy brought them to the door, joking "should i get down on one knee?" as he passed me them. I mean, I knew i was getting flowers, but I definitely didn't expect flowers of that magnitude. I was just completely taken aback when I actually seen them.

So now there's this. Figuring out a way to find out who sent me them. I decided at the start that I would leave it a while, a few weeks, before I tried to find out. Because I kind of liked the mystique, it was a bit annoying sometimes, but mostly I liked not knowing. I want to find out now though, cause its been long enough and it will just annoy me forever now if i never find out who it was. So in my sleuthing, I've concluded there are only 3 guys who I know for sure have my address/know where I live. That said, although that's 3 suspects, I really cant imagine any one of those would be the one who sent me roses. So I'm back to where I started. Maybe its someone who I haven't even thought about, who's just slipped through. But I don't even have that many male friends really (or even female ones for that matter!) And also I haven't lived in this house for very long, since the start of September I think, so that gets rid of the chance of it being someone who's lived near me for ages.It was such a gorgeous thing, but now I need to know who it was. Maybe one of the reasons I liked not knowing, was because I might have found out they were from someone who I don't feel the same way about, and now I'll have to have the awkward "I'm really sorry but I don't like you that way" talk, which isn't nice for either party, but might need to be done. On the other hand, they could be from someone I really like. So I definitely need to know, because either way, I guess it needs confronting.

At first, the idea of someone sending them as just a really nice gesture, just as something nice to do, to make me smile, cause I'd mentioned that I'd never received a valentines gift before, just didn't seem viable in my mind, cause if you seen the roses, you'd know they weren't just roses to raise a smile and make you feel good. You don't send roses like that unless you really mean it. And I stuck to that theory for a while, and I still 90% believe it, but, being a Libra, I'm reconsidering a little bit. Then again, just writing that out, I realise yeah, generally I'm still sticking with that, but i guess I can still never really know if that's just what they were. Phew!

Ok, nearly done. I just wanted to add two more things, First thing, if whoever sent me the roses is reading this, then, please, please, let me know who you are. Even just a clue! For me? Please? Send me an email, send me a text, send me a postcard, send me a whole book of Edgar Allen Poe quotes, just, get in touch, before my head explodes.

Second thing, about the last blog I wrote before the last one, the one where I signed out by saying boxes of chocolates and teddybears and roses, "and all that tacky crap"

Well, I guess I should really apologize to the mystery person who sent me such lovely flowers, I take back that I think they're tacky. I didn't even realise I'd said that until my friend pointed it out, "err didn't you say in your blog that roses were tacky?"
I cant really describe what I meant without going into another massive long paragraph, I guess I just meant what the inside of card shops look like a week before valentines, was tacky. When I worked in Card Factory last valentines, my heart broke a little more with every giant card that came through my till, I was gutted that someone would give something so horrible to someone they actually love. Anyway, in conclusion, I don't think roses are tacky, unless they're made of plastic. Right, that about covers it all. Note to self, make shorter blogs next time.