Saturday 26 July 2008

Things iv done this week

What an inventive blog title. But never mind.
For the first time in a while the sun has shone for a few days in a row. On Thursday me and my mam went to Ropner park, we took some food but it wasnt a proper picnic cause we didnt sit on the grass with a quilt. Or have a lot of food, just some sandwiches and tangerines and some muller rice. It was nice though, apart from the vast amounts of kids, i dont mind kids but sometimes i just cant be arsed, i forgot it was the summer holidays now. It didnt annoy me too much though. I seen this family with 2 cocker spaniel puppies, they were so gorgeous, iv been banging on to my mam loads recently about how much i want one, maybe that'll help persuade her. Then as if by magic, these two girls came past with a tiny puppy pug, aww their soo lovely, I guess they could be put in the same category as paris hilton dogs, but i think they're way better than those annoying little ratty dogs. Its wierd cause theres a handfull of animals i keep going on and on about to my mam, trying to get her to cave in and say "oh right, if you shut up we'll get one" And pugs and cocker spaniels and amongst them. Awe.

Anyway, we were sat on a bench by the lake/pond, and this crazy lady came along.


She had this carrier bag full of some sort of seed/grain, and she was feeding the 2 swans and their baby, proper talking to them, she was on the verge of a full on conversation with em haha and she kept swearing and shouting at the geese that were trying to get in on the food. She just walked off with her dog after that, which was a pleasant suprise, cause usually the brown family attract all the wierdo's.

The next day we walked down the river to the barrage with the dog, we ended up staying out ages as well cause it was just so nice. Roxy had a swim.

She looks like she's drowning but she's not, i think she quite enjoyed it. Thats my mams legs by the way. She's proper paranoid and wouldnt let her off the lead incase she got swept away by currents, even though that part of the river is kind of fenced off, and there is nowhere she could have been swept to. The dog enjoyed it anyway. She's blue cause i forgot to change the setting on my lame camera phone.


Later that day, like in the evening, we took the dogs to my grandads just to check up on the house and walk them while we were at it. We got there pretty much at 6 on the dot, cause we'd went straight to my aunties that day rather than wait for her to come and pick us up, so we were about 10 minutes earlier getting to my grandads that usual. Anyway, that isnt the point, the point is that that 10 insignificant minutes made us pull into the road the same time as the hot boy that lives in my grandads street. I guess he gets home from work at that time, I think he lives with his mam too. Iv only seen him a handfull of times, but he is beautiful. I once seen him washing his car, and he was wearing a ramones t shirt. Maybe we should get there 10 minutes early more often.
A bit after that we were walking the dogs and my auntie says something like "your legs are a bit pasty bianca". I was like whut. I got propa paranoid then, well not paranoid enough to stop wearing dresses and want to run out and get some fake tan. But i just thought, i dont think my legs are pasty at all, iv never even thought of using fake tan, even on nights out, in fact iv always been inwardly quite smug that thousands of girls are spending so much time money and effort on sunbeds and lotions, but i get it naturally. Iv got quite a olive skin colour thanks to my dad, its not too dark but definately darker than most english people.




Although wading in the sea today i did notice when hitching my dress up that the tops of my legs are lighter than the bottoms, maybe iv developed a slight tan the last couple of days with it being so sunny. I'll have to keep photographing my legs for the duration of the summer ha.

While i was taking photo's of my legs in my miffed state, i decied to take some bedroom shots. Mainly to embarass myself enough to do something about it, but partly cause we're moving house soon and i like my bedroom the way it is, and want to re-create the new one the same.
I figured that since we're moving probably in a matter of weeks, there's no point in tidying my room anymore, Thus -

Not too bad at first glance, however when you get past the doorway, things only go downhill.



Its a disgrace, i know. Im just so rubbish at keepin my room tidy. Every so often i go clean freak and just tidy and fold everything away, but within 2 weeks its a fucking mess again. This is definately the worst its been though, cause that second wardrobe is filled with clothes i dont really wear but that i havent got around to sorting out yet. But sometimes i put the odd item in there that i do wear, and then when i want it, i have to rummage through all the crap. And the other day i realised that my clothes seem to be dissapearing, and i was really annoyed cause i was looking for one thing and i couldnt find it anywhere, and in a rage, i just pulled everything out of that wardrobe thinking that i'd looked everywhere else, to that must be the only place it could be. So now theres just clothes strewn all over the floor.
My shoes are all in order at least



I Cant wait to move, i'll be able to sort out what i want and what to throw away, in other stuff, not just clothes. My windowsill is full of crap -



Earmuffs! Its the middle of summer! That white thing is a vest i put in the wash with black jeans and now is all funny coloured, and the bear is money box that's been empty for a loooong time.

But dont forget to take into account, My mirror ball!



I had to attatch it with red wool, cause thats all i could find at the time. I shone a torch on it a few months ago though, and it did look ace. Iv got the moving part for it, but i dont know how to work out the light part. I'll work it out at the new house.
So thats my mirrorball, this is my mirrorwall

Isnt that mirror great, its from my grandads house, i dont think its especially valuable, but it makes my bedroom feel a bit like a stately home. I cant remember what was on the telly.

Err anyway im getting tired now. Tomorrow im going to the beach with my mam and auntie and the dogs, We went today and it was hella foggy, but when we got back to the main road it was clear there, which was wierd. Iv never ever been to the beach and its been foggy it was really wierd, especially with it being hot too. Here's a picture of the carpark entrance, It looked so cool in reality though, it was like a horror film, oooh!



So yeah, beach tomorrow if its sunny and nice that is. woooo.

End

x

Tuesday 22 July 2008

Relapse



Yep, iv had a relapse, of the Alex Zane variety. I think cause iv just fancied him for so long, all my other newer celebrity crushes have taken over and poor alex has been pushed to the back of the part of my brain that deals with people i fancy. I mean, i never completely forgot about alexcrush, but yeah, im a hot blooded female and fyfe's and nadal's etc etc came along.
Err anyway, i was looking at my myspace friends, and i seen cake face man's profile, i forgot all about it, but the song made me giggle a lot.
Anyway, the point is, I fucking fancy the pants of alex, and i had forgotten how much.

I wish i lived in london, i'd go to all the cool hangouts and good gigs, and party nights and grand openings and all that bollocks, and somehow we would meet, maybe it would be an eyes across a crowded room situation, or maybe it'd be me having had too much vodka stumbling over to him and making a twat out of myself. Or maybe i'd tell him that i live near leeds and that i also love the smashing pumpkins, and then he'll think "she's ace, and we have lots in common" and then he'll invite me back to his place to stay up and watch dvd's untill 5am.
yum yum yum



Saturday 19 July 2008

shuttup

My feet are cold even though im wearing huge slippers, my knees are cold but that makes sense cause im wearing a dress. Im bored of listening to music so i tried to put the tv in the next room on just for some background noise, but it didnt work cause its too quiet and i cant be arsed moving again to sort it out. Fook, nearly 2am. I didnt get up till dead late today partly cause i stayed up late last night, but mainly cause im a huge lazy bastard.
Last night i was flossing my teeth and i accidentally ripped out a filling. It sounds worse than it is, it was only a tiny filling and i didnt realise i'd knocked it out till i found it happily roaming around the other side of my mouth as if it was bored and wanted a holiday. Goddamn floss. And goddamn me for being too cocky. "ohh" i thought "teeth are strong, so this bit off floss has all split and is stuck, just give it a yank". Thats the last time i do that i tell you. I had an appointment anyway for the 19th of next month, but i dont think i can wait that long, i keep poking it with my tongue and its freaking me out a bit. Im scared i'll get a lump of sugar stuck in it and one day wake up with a massive toothache. I should kick up a fuss and get her to replace the filling for free.
In other news, im pretty hungry, maybe its cause iv been talking about my mouth for the last 4 minutes. I have a craving for chinese food. Theres 3 chinese takeouts on the road round the corner from my house, but i dont think they'll be open this late, and i dont think they'll let me have food for free.
Ohh im bored. and my knees are still cold, and my feet. This has been a complainy blog hasnt it. I will make the next one more cheerful, especially if i've had chinese food between now and then.

Thursday 17 July 2008

Buzzin...

Yo. So iv been that bored tonight that iv actually got around to sorting this all out. I didnt intend to, i dunno, i just started re-arranging it, et voila, it was done. Err so yeah. Bianca blog is go. I named it biancapol cause i couldnt think of a decent title, and i was listening to Interpol at the time (and am right now funnily enough) I figured what was the point in having a blog that nobody reads. Not that its full of interesting stuff or owt, i dunno, i think secretly i want people to read it and like my rambling posts. Iv just jinxed myself now, havent i, i bet people are reading this and thinking "what a twat". If anyone reads this in the first place that is. Anyway i like this more than myspace so thats also why im doing this.
Anyhooo, i have a private blog too, and when i started writing it, it was pretty good, not the content exactly, i just thought it was kind of fun to just come on here and ramble away to my hearts content whenever the fuck i wanted to. It got to about 20 posts and i though, fuck it, i might as well make one thats not private. So iv been shuffling and transferring all (almost all) my old posts to this one. Thats why some of them dont make sense, cause iv cut out some stuff that i still wanted to be private, gotta still have some thats just for me innit. Generally its not too confusing though, apart from the dates being a bit muddled up from when i actually did post them, and then from when i swapped them over to here.
Err anyway, from now on it will make sense.
I feel like i should end this blog with a picture, but what of hmmm.

Ok, lets go with Paul Banks seeing as this post has a lot of interpol references
Yum



In my google search for PB pictures i discovered that he's going out with someone called helena christensen, i have no idea who she is, but she looks old enough to be his mam, she's pretty haggard looking. If she can pull paul banks theres hope for us all. Or more accurately, hope for me. I also discovered that more girls than i thought fancy paul banks, i thought it was just me with my wierd taste in men. Told ye he was hot.
Ok i will shut up and go to bed.
byeeee

x

A blog in which i decided to use actual pen and paper




Friday 4 July 2008

Love

Sunday 22 July, 2008


And I will love to see that day
That day is mine
When she will marry me outside with the willow trees
And play the songs we made
They made me so
And I would love to see that day
Her day was mine

Blogger

Thursday, 19 June 2008

Helloo. In the spur of the moment iv decided to write a blog. Or should that be on the spur of the moment? I used to be good at english, i got a B and a C for language and lit when i was at school. I reckon now im probably down to at least a D. Whats wrong with me? Urgh. Ok that makes me sound sluggish, but im not, in in an average mood tonight. Ooook mood. haha. Ramble ramble blargh. Im listening to Beirut, for the first time, im two songs in and i really really like them already. Laura pointed me in their direction, which im grateful for cause i think this could be a band i really really like, they have such a nice sound. I just wish i'd found it myself haha! Good music, is good music, it doesnt really matter how you find it, just as long as you do. Maybe i just like to be indipendant. independant. how the fuck do you spell that?! ER anyway, yeah, i do like it when people reccomend bands to me, but its cool when you find a good band yourself, and you do the reccomending. Anyway, its nice and is lifting my mood quite a bit, not that i was in a bad mood, but its making me feel cheerier.I went shopping today, nah not shopping, looking round shops and breaking my heart at how many pairs of beautiful shoes i tried on and fell in love with, and had to walk away from. I think this is a good opportunity (is that the right spelling?!) to post my first picture on blogger, although i would have liked it to be a picture of fyfe dangerfield, shoes comes a close second in the what bianca loves stakes, so shoes it shall be. Here they are, in all their beautiful glory.Good lord. I came sooo close to buying them today, my head was trying to work out how much id have left out of 80 pound considering i might be going out tomorrow, and telling me, "NO NO, YOU CANNOT AFFORD THESE SHOES, WALK AWAY, WALK AWAY"But my heart was singing a very different tune. The shoe i tried on was a size 4, im normally a 3 but there wasnt much difference. They looked especially beautiful in contrast to my black opaque tights, despite them being reet baggy around the ankle, the tights that is, not the shoes.
I honestly nearly went to the bank and drew out the £35. But in the end i thought, about how horrible it was when i only had £30 in the bank, before my £90 tax rebate, and how sad i was, trying to think of ways to desperately cling on to that 30 pounds. So with a heavy heart i took off the shoe of beauty, and put it back on the shelf for the lucky lucky bitch who was going to buy them. I figured that when i got home, i would go on the faith website and if they had my size on there, i would definately get them. And i do really really want to, i am completely and utterly in love, with a shoe. But just think of what i could do with £40. It fucking sucks. And their in the sale, they were £55. And i just thought then, at least its good inspiration to get a job, but thinking that, these babies are in the sale, meaning they will sell out soon. Theres no time to lose. I'll be gutted, properly properly gutted if i never own these shoes.

ARgh!Ok i will shut up about the shoes and move on!Like i said, i might be going out tomorrow. Laura has a job interview tomorrow morning in newcastle, so its all pending the outcome of that, so maybe night out, maybe not. Anyway, yeah im a bit excited but a bit nervous, i just dont like the not knowing one way or the other.

No, maybe its the music, maybe its my female intuition, i reckon it'll be good.
Thankyou beirut for making me smile.
Ending blog on a good note.
Till next time...
x


Photobucket

Quicky quicky tiredy quicky

Monday, 2 June 2008

Why hello. I just thought i would come and make a quick blog because iv just been reading a messageboard, and there was a thread saying what are you hobbies, and somone put 'blogging'. Im like whaaaaat. Blogging isnt a hobby for fucks sake, its people who are sad and have fuck all else to do and just like to ramble. Anyway, i thought it was a wierd thing to class as a hobby, and i think if that topic actually cropped up in real life, the only people who would say "i like to do blah blah, and blogging" would be the proper arrogant cooler than thou people. Fuck em.I need to write a blog about music live yesterday but im faaar too tired to do it now. I'll round it up and say its basically 10.30pm (monday night), and i have been awake since 9.30am on sunday morning. i cant be arsed working it out, but this is the longest iv gone without sleep, i havent even had a nap or anything. Hardcore! Haha. Tonights been the worst though, well from about mid afternoon iv actually been hallucinating. not like proper hardcore really vivid, but like when you focus on one thing, but in the corner of your eye it looks like theres stuff moving, and you start to make out shapes of stuff. iv just had to put the big light on in here cause it was off and so was the kitchen one and it was basically pitch black and i could see loads of stuff and it was starting to scare me haha. Gonna google more about sleep deprived hallucinations, sounds interesting. Anyway, i dont wanna go to bed this early, but im really fucked. cyaaa laterr

Arggggh help i cant think of a title

Saturday, 31 May 2008

Reet o! Hello jolly blogger!!! Oh why am i writing like an indie twat.Anyway, earlier on i decied my blog would be entitled "Fyfe Dangerfield" and i was going to write lots about him, but Fyfe is, well, he needs a blog of his own, not a shared one. no Fyfe sharing. Internet wize. still talking like a twat. snap out of it. Erm ok, i will make a Fyfe blog and it will be beautiful, but this blog is not about Fyfe. I just thought im excited about middlesbrough music live tomorrow, and i havent wrote in here for tooooo long, so here i am. I also have to write about a proper amazing night where i hung out with a rock band, it was fucking class. but that needs its own blog also.So, now, music live, wooosh. I feel uncomfortable. i cant put my finger on why, its not the way im sat or anything, i dunno humm. Anyway, snap out of it, again! Ok re-arranged some things, i feel a bit better. I had a proper rubbish sleep last night which involved the dog who lives in the flat underneat us with a total retard, barking its head off at various points, and then from about 3am till 4am the congregation of chavs from the flat out the back and round the corner, talking loudly and just generally being total fucking cunts. So im suprised im not tucked in bed already, im not too tired considering though really, wierd. Anyway, im getting into the groove of the writing now, iv missed writing about nothing. The same with my paper diary too i havent written in there for yonks, and i dont even know why. But now i feel like i could write for another hour. Er anyway iv totally gone off on a tangent. Ok so the rubbish night sleep rant is over. MML!! Tomorrow yay. Thers not many bands i want to see at all this year, compared to the previous years anyway, i think this years line up is a bit rubbish. Im not slagging it off though, cause i mean how lucky are we down here to have it, its always such a great day, and loads of amazing bands have been and that. Im dead grateful for the council and ten feel tall and all that to have put it on. And im still looking forward to going, im not gonna be one of them people that goes and moans about it all day. Good music, good dancing and good hot boys will be had im sure (not in the sexual way, that sounded pretty bad but you get my drift). Every year when it rolls around i re-read the last line up and think "fucking hell, they were there, how did i miss them, they're ace!" so i was kind of determined this year to pick out the bands and see them and not regret missing them next year. But i was lazy and have hardly listened to most of the bands that are on, which i know will come back to bite me in the ass next year but fuck it.Iv came up with the most ingenius way of smuggling my vodka into mml this year, proper james bond style stuff, if i do say so myself. I cant believe i came up with such a stroke of genuis, im proper proud of myself. I wont post it here cause its just too good and i dont want everyone else stealin my brain power. This is still set to private though so i should get round to sorting that whole thing out soon, i forgot about that. Um so yeah, thats mml talked about. I have a ping of nervousness about it actually due to skintage. I have 26 quid waitng to go into the bank from paypal so thats not too bad, just annoying that you've gotta wait 5-7 days for it to go in, i think i'd feel a bit easier if i had that in but at least i know it'll be there soon. Also i havent planned it with laura yet, like what time we're going and that, i'll ring her in't morning to sort it out, i think im just worrying too much, its wierd how optimistic i always am, but when it comes to doing stuff, i always just expect something to fuck up. I dont think it will though, just me being pazza.Im also a bit worried about the weather, it was gorgeous today really, but its supposed to be not so good tomorrow, it'll put a bit of a downer on the day if its just rubbish weather. So, MML talk over with. What next!I think at this point i should make a side note about hot post office boy. Well that kind of explains its self really. Iv been going in the post office quite a bit recently cause iv been selling stuff on ebay, and he's been in there a couple of times and he is, i hate the word hot, but he just is, so very very hot. skinny-ish, dark messy hair-ish, he's just got a pretty face. Plus the fact that he wears a shirt of course. Drool. haha woo ok im gonna stop fan girling now.NEXT I cant think of owt else to write now, hmm. My blog is looking a bare, i keep thinking i should put some piccies up but i dunno what of. I will post some lovely Fyfe picures in the pending Fyfe blog.
Dahaha iv just listened to a song with the following lyrics "i was reading your myspace the other day and this is what i found..." i stopped it there. I like myspace, but its infiltrating everything. Anyway, that was amusing for a bit. I reckon im gonna leave this here cause its1.12am and i have nowt else to write about and i need to get up early-ish tomorrow.byeeeeeeee x

Boyz

Saturday, 10 May 2008


i was going to title this "boys 2" but then i thought, if i do that with every blog relating to boys, im gonna one day end up with "Boys No: 1786859".
Anyway, oooh i dunno really. I went to boro today with laura (and got the train back for free cause the ticket person didnt get to us - cashback) And im 99% sure i seen my old (2nd) ex. It was one of those things where it just happens before you get chance to realise whats going on. We were going into home bargains, and it was rammed outside with it being saturday and all. And i dunno why i wasnt looking, but when i did look up before we went in the shop i just caught a glimpse of him, he was pretty much right infront of me as well. Thats why i was a bit unsure if it was him, cause i only seen him for like 2 seconds. He smiled like, then again that still doesnt mean it was him hmm. When he smiled at me, cause it was just like a suprise and it was super quick, i gave a wonky "are you who i think you are?" kind of smile back haha, i must have looked like a proper mong. Its bugging me cause i just wish i knew for definate if it was him or not, i wish i'd been a bit friendlier too, i mean i did smile back so its not like i blanked him or owt, just i dunno. I seen him ages ago in town too, stockton town, probably about a year ago, but it was a similar situation, just glimpsed him as i was going past, it definately was him that time though so.
Wierd how iv only seen him twice in all these years, and its been the same type of situation haha. Just wish i'd taken more notice, i think i tend to just put my head down when its busy and try to work a route around all the fat bastards and wailing kids.

I cant believe iv wrote all this just about bumping into my ex. I think im having a bit of a 'my name is earl' moment, cause i just finished with him in a horrible way, well i didnt cause at least i did it in person and stuff. Just when i did it, i rememer how hurt and upset he looked. And i think now, years down the line, its affected me more than it probably has him haha. Just wish things had ended better really. then again, i dont think they could have cause out of all my (grand total of 3) ex's, he's the only one im still on friendly speaking terms with. Its nice to have at least one of my ex's that i dont think is a total knob.

So anyway, i dunno, i cant decided if i want to be single or not. I blame me never being able to make my mind up (about anything!) on being a Libra. Sometimes i love being on my own, and other times not.
You know on skins when cassie runs away to new york and just happens to meet that completely perfect american boy who works in a greasy diner, and does photography, and has a tiny poky rubbish flat, and gives her apples, and takes her on nights out at 2am and then walks along the hudson with her at the end. ahh. That is what i want, i wish things like that happened to real people. Its not like im gonna just run into a hot boy on the street and we'll strike up a conversation and discover we have a million things in common, and it will be the perfect start. Goddamn movies making me belive stuff like that actually happens!

r aaa!


x

Summer, Songs and Sam Herlihy

Thursday, 8 May 2008

Ahhh lovely lovely Sam Herlihy. He's the guy from hope of the states. He has the most amazing eyes. I fancy him a lot, and he's short like meee and he just seems to have a nice personality and there is something entrancing about him that i cant quite put my finger on. I like his wierd rambling posts on the halfwayhome messageboard. Anyway, i was just watching the sing it out video and got sidetracked. Thats not what this blog is about.The weather has been really great this week, and my mam is at her course thing tomorrow so im thinking im going to get up early and walk t ropner park. No idea what im going to do when i get there though hmmm. I was contemplating taking a boook but i dont think we have much in the line of books, i'll have a look in the morning anyway. I was gonna just take my little sketch book and see what i can find but that might be a bit pretentious haha. So i think im just gonna take my cross stitch that iv been doing lately and do that. I might just sit in the sun and do fuck all. So yeah, the meaning of this blog is to list all the songs i need to arrange now, to put on my phone to listen to in the sun. Here goes

*insert list of songs*

Ohh this is rubbish im already stuck. I wrote this down the other night too and iv lost the paper i wrote it on, doh. Eh that'll do.Hmm, at this moment in time, i cant be arsed doing the 'going to the park' thing. Ack. I dont wanna waste the morning though. Why have i suddenly changed my mind? I guess im just fickle. Maybe i'll feel differently tomorrow like. Anyway, i am going to shoot away.byeeeeeeeeeeex

Thursday 3 July 2008

cantthinkofagoodtitle

Monday, 28 April 2008

wow its really hard to type without spaces.Anyhoo, i dont have anything interesting to report. But its 4 minutes past one, and i dont want to go to bed yet. im really restless, bored.Mmmmmmmmmm. mindblank. I suppose i hoped that when i got here i'd have something to write about, but, erm, no.Iv listened to "all flowers in time bend towards the sun" about ten times in a row just now. I actually dont know anything about this song, i dont know if its a cover or what. Its a duet between Jeff Buckley and Elizabeth Fraser from the Cocteau Twins. I think its so beautiful, theres just something about him that just kind of makes all the bullshit music of today just fade into the background. I had a proper rant to myself the other day about all the shit passing as music, the fucking absoultley dire bands that are around today, and i wouldnt care if they at least tried to make something good, but its just like they dont give a shit. And im being a hypocrite cause iv never listened to any of the bands that i have in mind when i think about this stuff, but fuck it. I just hate all these shitty band names like i dunno, you me at six, hadouken, nine lives for skydives (wtf), kids in glass houses. Theres a million bands like that out at the moment, and i know when it comes down to it, if music makes you truly happy, when it just brings out something in you that you cant describe, then it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. But for some reason i just feel like these bands are just... exploiting? fuck me, i dunno what im on about. I just feel like their so incincere. I do feel like a bit of a music snob writing this, but so what, nobody else is reading this so it doesnt even matter. And i know when it comes down to it, their just fucking band names, the least important part of any band. But its just the collective impression they give, and again, i know you should just judge a book by its cover, and i should really listen to all these bands i think are shit before i start ranting about how wank they are. But, ah, fuck it. It just seems all to be so image based, style over substance was a phrase i heard once, and that seems the perfect description for all them bands. I know i know, im being a huge hypocrite. What if jeff looked like the bands of today, but the music was exactly the same? No doubt i'd think he was cunt before even giving him a chance. Urgh, what am i saying? I guess it just doesnt go like that really.People complain loads about stereotypes, but when it comes down to it, stereotypes are true. How often do you see someone who looks like a goth, that actually really likes i dunno, lets say blues music, and plays the sax.

Anyway. When i read and hear stuff, all the things people have said about him, Jeff, he must have been fucking amazing, just as a person. I think he went out with Liz Frazer for a bit, this is what she said about him -

"To meet Jeffrey was like being given a set of paints, i had all this colour in my life again/ i was sweating like a fucking june bride when i first heard him, music has never done that to me before/ I just couldnt help falling in love with him"

Fuckin hell, "i just couldnt help falling in love with him" Doesnt that just break your heart? Man.

Umm. Ramble ramble ramble.Basically, to conclude this blog, All flowers... is stunning, im pretty sure its going to be my wedding song.

Semi-blog

Friday, 25 April 2008

...It just kind of worries me, cause even though im a bit mad with this sometimes, im really sensible, and i think, apart from a tiny percentage, people my age now that think their in love, and actually do at this moment love each other. Well, generally in life, its just the way it goes that you have a few little realationships, like the ones iv had, then you have a few serious ones, but after that, thats when you find the right person. So i think everyone around my age thats in a proper serious, in love with each other realtionship, a few years down the line from now, they'll have broken up, cause thats how it goes. Your in love, then you break up and your heart is broken, then a bit afer that, its after those handfull of realationships that you have in your life, then you find your soulmate. The first few people you go out with, generally arent the people/person you're with forever. Those, i dunno, maybe those are just to prepare you. And i know its not always the case, and some people do meet when their like 17 or whatever and end up getting married and having kids and being in love forever and end up holding hands in the nursing home when their 95. But that doesnt happen very often i dont think.Thats why i want my heartbreak now, my BIG proper realationship. Im 21, kind of wish it was over with so i could get on with it, instead of expecting it to happen. Then again, fuck me, i dunno, im a proper libra, i was just about to say i know i still am young, and iv most definately got time for all that, basically what it comes down to is, i feel at my age, it should have happened already.

sigh, i dunno. Hahah thats all i say i duno i dunno i dunno.Where is my amazingly hot boyfriend who i need to meet now. Maybe alex zane will come to the rescue sometime soon. Haha, yeah bianca. dont hold yer breath. Next blog will include ramblings about sam herlihy and how lovely he is. Byeeeee